Stone Valley Festival North

 Last time I saw the Mondays live, little did I know the next time I would be nearly a decade later - in a field round the corner from my mams.

SVF do festivals up and down the country, and for the last seven years the North version has been up in the Durham dales. This year though they decided to relocate to the former priest seminary of Ushaw College. Myself originally coming from the local pit village Ushaw Moor, the prospect of seeing some top bands literally on home soil was appealing.

Saturday, post Exeter City (H), me and the kids took in the sights, sounds, funny smells and fire eaters of SVF. As we were settling in some lad with no pupils gave Seth a plastic AK-47. 

We were all Spartacus for The Farm, Hootons firm performing some classic 90s tunes - Groovy Train and Stepping Stone amongst others, cumulating with a sing along All Together (Now). Seth took this opportunity during a pro peace song to machine gun down the lead singer. 

The Undertones next up. Jimmy Jimmy got the boys dancing and my favourite My Perfect Cousin up shortly after. Tiredness was creeping in for the youngest Seth so we called for mam to pick us up - the pre teens had had their kicks for one night, we left as the crowd bounced along to Sharkey's hit.

Following night just myself and the eldest Jacob ventured along, couldn't risk being pulled away before Sunday's Mondays. We also came armed with blankets, Berghaus, camping chairs and cans.

Arrived a bit later due to work, From The Jam already mid set but caught the Tube (Station), That's Entertainment and a few others before an encore of Going Underground.

Cast were a Britpop band quite frankly I'd forgotten all about, but soon recalled after plenty of energy and hit after hit. I guess they were Alright, guess they were fine. 

Finally Happy Mondays. Jayboy could barely contain his excitement bless him - up late on a school night to see a bunch of ramshackle lunatics he'd only heard from dad's records before. Out they came to Kinky before a bit banter with the crowd, X asking Bez the MasterChef to cook 'im sumfin' up. Plenty baggy classics followed, mainly consisting of Pills Thrills tunes.

The bairn announced early that he was going to sit down if he didn't know the song. He didn't sit down once, and drew some approving comments from festival goers - "he's got the moves hasn't he?" and "You've taught him well" as he grooved round like Dennis and Lois.

Fairly short set of one hour, finishing of course with Step On. Shaun apologized for not being able to do WFL due to timings but it mattered not - I'd seen the Mondays basically at my home with my eldest son. Hallelujah.

Mondays Set list

Kinky Afro

God's Cop

Donovan

Loose Fit

Dennis & Lois

Clap your Hands

Bob's Yer Uncle

Twenty Four Hour Party People

Hallelujah

Step On

Loose Fit (Other Mondays collaborations)

 As promised here's the (not so much) good, the bad and the ugly of some of Happy Mondays other designer collaborations.

I wrote once upon a time on this blog about 1999's surprising link up with Admiral. The 1970s football shirt supremos had been bust for about a decade and hoped their big come back would be boosted by Mondays reformation in 99. I can't really say that worked for them as the last time I saw any Admiral gear was in the TU section of Sainsbury's. 

That said they made some smart tour tees, plus back stage crew specials, in a Mondays yellow. And also they stuck to what they knew, producing an awesome red football shirt sold at gigs - a few years ago I spied one on eBay for 40 quid and passed on it. The one I found on Google images was over £300. Sigh.

Next up was last year's Palarse effort. The skateboarding crew went a long way to beat the competition, namely COVID19, to be the worst thing to come out of 2020. Perhaps slightly unfair, the overpriced tees are ok, using central stations design but changing the P for Palaces slant. And there's a crazed Bez.

But the hats, shirts and jacket? Dam, kuff. Decent on a record sleeve but on your person? Yes please? No thanks.

Him Off The Viz

The hottest ticket in town on Sunday was Simon Donald's book reading. The stand up comic / Viz creator is doing some autobiography excerpts in a tiny second hand bookshop in ye olde Durham. A North East legend. My home town. An air of secrecy and exclusiveness surrounding the whole event. There were only twenty tickets available. Me and my mate have numbers one and two. We're excited. But Jesus, I hope we're not in the front row.

However my memories of the Viz are slim. It's not like I'm not a fan, just when it was in its mid 90s prime I was too young to form part of their readership. That didn't stop me nabbing Dads copies for a sly read. Memories include Spoilt Bastard getting a kicking off the Teletubbies, Cockney Wanker getting his black cab license and overcharging tourists, a readers competition to find any Man United fans actually from Manchester (some numpty angrily wrote in stating that indeed he was, but giving his address as Rochdale - he was promptly told 'Dale has a professional club). And then came my Billy the Fish Football Yearbook and his tales of fish like goalkeeping genius, lethal strike force of Shakin' Stevens and  Mick Hucknall, and buxom squaw Brown Fox with her geet massive chebs.

It's with these thoughts in mind I'm in a Durham pub, trying to recall more Vizzy goodness from memory, mainly so I've got some ammo at hand in I'm case quizzed later. If questioned then at least I'll not be judged as some kind of non Viz fan fraud by the stereotypical die hard comic book nerds that'll no doubt be in the audience, literally, by the dozen.

As the drinks flow me and my pal remember our joint favourite Viz moment, although it was actually post Donald years. Flashback 2010, we're coming back from a Hartlepool away fixture, coincidentally at Rochdale (for any confused Mancs, Pools played Rochdale, not Manchester United), and he bought a copy of Viz at Piccadilly. Now we're on the Northern rattler trying to keep our heads down as it's full of Leeds coming back from wherever they've raped, pillaged and picked up nil points that Saturday afternoon. Only we're laughing like drains at some random bits and pieces, it's only a matter of time before one of West Yorks Neanderthal grunts for the time and once we reply in deep Durham tones we'll promptly have our teeth removed. We're drawing attention to ourselves but we care not a jot for our fate, because we're lost in mirth at the sheer mental daftness on print. Like I say it was post Donald era but I'm sure he'll be happy his legacy is living on in belly laughed guffaws on a delayed train heading north, with football tensions rising...

It's strange that the directions to the People's Book Shop should be turn right  at Waterstones. The "proper" bookshop in all its corporate splendor on the main road, the one we're heading to through a blink-and-you'll-miss-it coffin sized tunnel/alley giving alternate route to the cathedral. Up some creaking, sloping wooden stairs and we're in at close quarters with Mr Donald himself. A unique venue, an icebox laden with Stella Artois (donations welcome), left-wing literature strewn shelves and tough metal seats as sharp as the wit as the man we've come to see...

Donald explains about the hi-tech equipment dotted around. He's recording us for his audiobook. Straight away we're part of this, we're in competition with bigger, better venues and the people of the People's Bookshop will not let our hero down. That's not to say, of course, we're over generous with the laughter - when we giggle and guffaw it's warranted. And there's plenty of laughs to come throughout the night...

Donald recounts autobiography paragraphs with witty results. Some quality coming of age schoolboy japes to pissed up heckling when denied a rigged magazine award. And most memorably when noticing the singer Robert Plant slipping off towards the toilet, Donald quizzed him at loud volume if he was going for one of his famous tunes - Hey Robert, are you going for a Big Log?
Heart warmingly Donald feels the need to over explain things from a certain era, for the younger members of the audience. Given that this is exclusively me and my mate Paul, we feel personally addressed by our hero as he looks over at us, although he's probably sussed us as the stealing dads' Viz types...

Interval. Donald mingles with the crowd given there's no dressing room (or stage curtain (or stage in fact)) to chill out, so is telling jokes and sharing past times with those who remember. It would be nice to listen but I need a wee. Back down the creaky lopsided stairs to form a queue outside the only wash closet. And then I get the aging Comic Book Guy trying to suss me, stating the loaded "the thing with Viz was it was a game changer". Shit. I don't need this. There's a few pints of pre-match Carlsberg swilling round, two bottles of Stella nipping the back of my head, I'm trying to think of what gems I can remember from Mellie's Profanasaurus Rex to fend him off, erstwhile thinking I'd rather be facing those Leeds fans again. Thankfully we're interrupted by someone re-entering the building, triumphantly announcing he took a piz in Varsity across the street. I do the same.

Second half. This mainly consists of FAQ that turn into some hilarious and compelling anecdotes. One such about Viz plots being that the best and funniest tales are based on truth. Donald sitting in a kebab shop at closing time in Toon, Two drunkards are troughing their boxes of death, one peels a string of kebab and starts rubbing it on his neck...
- Heearr, can yee smell porfume on me nek?
Mate, sniffs - Aye I can
First chap (rubs more kebab like a cheap aftershave advert) - worra bout noo?
- Nae lad ah cannae
- Fank fuck for that. Wor lass is like Shorlock fuckin Holmes
It went in Sid the Sexist.

Other memories include Donald's dark days with the newspapers, which he elaborates extensively on his encounters with the gutter press, but also of other celebrities (shall remain nameless) plight. Although not quite what I was expecting, it makes for fascinating listening. I then realise the atmosphere has shifted - this is not longer a stand up comedian doing a gig, we're mates now, he's having a chat amongst friends. Made possible by the intimate venue and the handful of kindred spirits present...

Full time. After bringing the house down with a goal for Pele (won't explain this - buy the book) and a highly amusing North East version of The Wheels on the Bus, we notice two 45 minute sets have spiralled into almost three hours of comedy and quality yarns. Then it's down to the bread and butter of book signing for Donald, no, Simon - we're friends now - with Sid the Sexist Tits Oot for Ian, a shameless photo opportunity with a celeb and a handshake.

A truly unique experience, fun had by all concerned and, most importantly, a new favourite Viz memory.

Concert Live

I first became aware of this company when waiting for Madness to come out at the arena in 2006. Adverts were plastered all over stating Concert Live were recording the gig and that'd it be copied, pressed and wrapped ready for purchase some 20 minutes after the Nutty Boys left their encore.

I bought the said CD, albeit later from their website. All the crowd chants, Suggs's cheeky banter and the interuption 30 seconds into NW5 (The biggest bra in the world was thrown on stage and they had to stop playing such was their mirth) were all on there. A great momento of the evening because  let's be honest, for as much as you enjoyed yourself, you'd had one or three beforehand, everything is a bit fuzzy during and then you struggle to remember the track listing the next day.

Imagine my delight when on the recent Mondays reunion they were doing the same. Not at every venue like Madness but just the close gig at Brixton. Good enough for me, same setlist and quality tunes as were played at Newcastle for their opening night. Shaun Ryder's sweary banter inbetween songs and Rowetta's sexy grunting on 'Bobs Your Uncle' were all there and similar in London as it was to Toon. Greatest hits meets Pills N Thrills plus unoriginal line up gem Jellybean. Superb for fifteen quid, reliving one of the best gigs I've been too whilst on iPod on way to work.

1. Loose Fit
2. Kinky Afro
3. Dennis and Lois
4. Donovan
5. God's Cop
6. Judge Fudge
7. 24 Hour Party People
8. Rave On
9. Cowboy Dave
10. Hallelujah
11. Bob's Yer Uncle
12. Holiday
13. Mad Cyril
14. Step On
15. Jellybean
16. W.F.L

Live from Heaton Park it's Saturday Night

Happy Mondays @ Newcastle

Me and our kid are on the rattler to Toon, excited at the prospect of seeing the Happy Mondays original line up play together for the first time in 19 years. The Ryder brothers reunited after over a decade of hating each others guts. Bez, Mark Day, Knobhead, Gazza Whelan and Rowetta completing Madchester's finest.

It's been a long time coming for those guys, nearly two decades since the ill fated 'Yes, Please' caused ill temper and the breakup of the Mondays. Back in previous forms and line ups as far as 2007 but never the original bunch. And they're playing their first reunion gig in Newcastle. Good times.

We're having a few jars in the pub round the corner. Usual crowd milling about wetting their whistle. Ageing chaps who remember them first time around, resplendent in their Lyle & Scott, CP Company et. al. Never understand lads wearing their best gear at gigs considering there'll be bottles of piss flying round later. I'm dressing it down in a vintage RL harrington and battered Trimm Trabs. I'm telling the tale that Rowetta has retweeted/replied to me three times in 48 hours. The little tease. We sink a few lagers, rib a guy who wants to be Liam Gallagher (who isn't going to the gig), give a cheer when 'Step On' comes on the jukey and slope off to the O2.

In the academy and overpriced Carlsberg I'm jealously eyeing up the Happy Mondays bucket hats the merch stalls are selling, kicking myself that I only brought beer vouchers. The Inspiral Carpets come on as support earlier than expected and do a cracking job of rousing the crowd with a handful of quality tunes. Clint Boon plays up to the 'Boon Army' and seems quite emotional that its the first time the Carpets have played together for awhile too. I make the mistake of seeing out their set before going for a slash and join every gent in the place in a queue for the one set of khazi's.

Then there's a long old wait of anticipation waiting for the guys to come out. Eventually Bez swaggers out to a massive cheer and introduces the guys. They come out of the wings to critical acclaim and kick us off with Loose Fit. The crowd, including myself and the lad, go mental, but more so when Bez comes back out for some Freaky Dancin for Kinky Afro. He disappears after this - well he is a grandad.

Hit after hit and tune and tune come out from the Mondays. Shaun swearing a lot and living up to his lead role, checking the setlist sellotaped to the floor and ribbing Bez about his aftershow party being very exclusive - pay the six quid or have excellent tits and you're in. Paul and Mark do an excellent job on respective guitars and Rowetta looks and sounds great. The sound is a little muffled but they're doing a smashing job. They can play and are doing it as if they have been doing it for 19 years.

Anxiously checking watch as the last train to Durham looms. Ryder breaks into 'Step On', Bez reappearing to bop around. The crowd noise goes up a couple of decibels and I'm thinking they can't possibly do an encore after Step On. Alas they do and theres no fucking way I'm leaving for the train. They reappear and go to Mr. Jellybean followed by WFL. Then it's off the stage enroute to tomorrow's gig in Glasgow with Newcastle cheering them all the way there. Great reviews to follow on this tour if tonight's show is anything to go by.

Me and our kid leave - all sweaty bodies, passive weed stink, stale beer fug clouding and piss stained shoes. We find a bus stop and get on the last double decker of the night to the land of Prince Bishops. Sat on the top deck, flying through dark silent streets we relived the songs, me slightly disappointed 'Tart Tart' wasn't on the menu. Still 'God's Cop' and 'Holiday' were. Pleased about that.

The Mondays playing together for the first time in 19 years. And we were there. Champion.

Shaun Ryder is in Toon

Well that was better than expected. Mr. Ryder did himself proud, coming on early (half 8) and soldiering on for nearly an hour and a half - pretty damn good considering he was seriously ill last month. Starting with my personal favourite, Kinky Afro, he sang half a dozen Mondays songs throughout the course of the night including Loose Fit and Wrote For Luck, followed by three Black Grape numbers, which really stole the show. He also sang four new solo songs from a forthcoming album which were good, the last one (his first encore tune) was a belter. He also sang my guilty pleasure - Gorillaz DARE - which was a marvellous treat. The night was completed by the brilliant Step On. Top notch all round.

Yes there were glitches - MC Tonn and Julie, his two backing singers were much better vocally (but SWR never been much of a singer) and he was often muted by sound problems. Ryds had to check down once or twice at the lyrics taped to the floor (but not as often as expected), and unfortunately the venue was only half full (but everyone there idolized him). However he looked fit and well, still has his presence on stage and a cool new way of holding his mic.

Pleased the gig was postponed if I'm honest. Because ones that went ahead when he was still poorly drew up some crap reviews and negative assumptions about him (at Sheffield he only did half an hour before giving up and walking out to boos. Was because he was ill, not because he was showing contempt). This performance in Newcastle was a million miles away from this. SWR was a top professional - although he did forget where he was playing to - and although it wasn't a polished performance, it was a performance non the less and a pretty damn good one for nostalgic reminiscing.

Shaun Ryder Gig Preview

Off to see SWR tomorrow night at Newcastle o2. Had a canny wait - was postponed due to illness the very day I received my tickets. Typical. To be fair though the Ryder was genuinely ill and fair play to him for coming back fighting. Has had some pretty mixed reviews about his tour so far, where he's been singing Mondays, Black Grape and solo songs. Shambolic and chaotic are words been touted - so not at all in the Mondays spirit then...

Not really fussed if it's only an hour set, that Wrote For Luck is omitted, that he'll forget half the lyrics and that he'll have to be dragged through the songs by his backing singers. No, I'm buzzing at the fact I'm going to see a cultural icon and musical genius belt out some classic tunes from two of my favourite bands of all times. You can't put a price on that. Actually you can. £16. Bargain.