Happy Birthday Dear Jesus

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...

The Overground

Now arriving on platform GN is the wonderfully weird new Weir from Connoisseur. With demand outstripping supply on the recent Overlook bobble hat (with its The Shining carpet inspired design), CC went with another 'Over' inspired template - this time London's Overground seat pattern motif. Seen by millions everyday, they've turned something fairly nondescript and ugly into something that will bring internet servers down on release and then people forking out treble the RRP on eBay.

This was the first time I've been able to nab one since one of the original Weirs from a few years ago. It helped in part now I'm a forum member of Connoisseur so got first dibs on it. So whilst the world counted down and prayed for luck as the 7pm release approached last Monday, I could sit back, relax and let the train take the strain as mine was already paid for, bagged and steaming towards me...

adidas Advent

My tweet/twit/twat (what's the correct term?) pal The Spezial One aka @ollyverTweet is making advent all adidassy. Every day in the run to Christmas he's treating us to a daily dose of dapper kicks with a festive theme. And why not? Here's a few choice snaps, hashtag adidasadvent for more fine footwear...

It's Great When You're a Straight Edged...Badge

Carlos the Jackal. Immortalized. In florescent colourways. By Central Station designs. For Black Grape. Now as a pin badge.

 

Good Measure

Ever chatted with your pals about items of clobber and muted things like 'it would be better if' or 'I'd like it more if' etc and then done bugger all about it? Well some brave lads who thought like that have put their money where their mouth is, and jumped feet first into the world of limited run, high quality threads. These brave lads are Good Measure.

There first run is focussed on a classic sweatshirt, one that looks the part and fits correctly. Just for good measure they have a focus on producing their work right here in Britain.

Worth a look. Personally I'm not a sweater kind of guy, but I'll be keeping tabs on their efforts, seeing what they produce next. This bunch of connoisseurs could well become the next Connoisseurs...

Debut Albam

Nottingham has had its fair share of good clobber. One True Saxon was the richest plum of all, and, when OTS lost its way in the mid naughties, in 2006 Albam stepped in to take the 'Notts Finest' crown.

The cult brand is now based in swanky Soho but still sticking to its ideals of simple concepts, created using the finest resources, and then well made right here in England. And then we snap their gear up.

One of the their most iconic pieces ever produced is what became arguably their signature design - the Fisherman's Cagoule. A simple waxed jacket with oversized hood and large white buttons, available in an a range of striking colours.

My debut Albam is a classy and cool navy blue. Remember the forums were all a buzz a few years ago when these came out in epileptic Apple Green and Dayglo Orange. But I wouldn't be able to pull them off. Bit of a shame it's taken me so long to source one but definitely worth it. It's amazing how excited you can get over a made in England label and a daft wee poachers pocket on the back. Quality jacketry.

Delighted with this pick up. Looks smashing, especially with another new navy purchase - The Connoisseur Everyday Beanie. Simple and effective winter warmer. Not released yet though chaps. But join the queue because I'd recommend highly for £18 nicker.

Brandon United v Hartlepool (Durham Cup)

The clocks have gone back and winter is drawing in. So it's time for the non league clubs still left in the cup to start dreaming of drawing a big fish. I'm not talking about the magic of the FA Cup but the pure majesty of the Durham County Challenge Cup.

Brandon United successfully negotiated the preliminary round and drew Pools, arguably the biggest fish in the pond - even if it is just the reserves. Once upon a time Sunderland plyed their trade in the cup and Pools and Darlo were allowed to field strong teams, leading to memorable cup ties. However the black cats are no longer and Hartlepool have to play the kids. It did pay dividends back in 2005 when United won the competition, the fifth time in the club's history.

The Welfare Ground is a ramshackle ground with a gap in the fence providing the turnstile. I was surprised it was a pretty steep fiver to get in but delighted they'd bothered to produce a programme for the fixture. I climbed the steps to pitch level and was immediately nearly blown back down by gale force winds. The view was impressive though, even in the dark. Most of County Durham spread out below like a carpet - the cathedral and city in the valley, Penshaw Monument on the hill and my home village of Ushaw Moor twinkling invitingly.

The last time I saw Pools play in the DCCC I witnessed a 5-1 humiliation at the hands of Shildon. Despite Brandon being in the division below the railwaymen and having on average four bankruptcy fears a season, I still feared the worse. This sinking feeling was justified when Brandon took the lead two mins in after a defensive howler. One of those real "what am I doing here?" moments, seeing your team concede to a team some eight leagues further down the pyramid.

As the wind picked up and the rain drove in I consoled myself with a cup of tea. In an actual mug. Civilised. As the brew lifted my spirits Pools started playing and looked the better team with strength at the back and centre and pace on the wings. Before I knew it they were 4-1 up through Hawkins, Wignall, Boagey and Armstrong. Half an hour played and my tea not even cold. Brandon got one back on the stroke of half time, another lapse in defense. In the second Nialle Rodney scored what could only be described as a 5 mile an hour net buster' as the ball trickled in and managed to go through the net. 5-2 FT.

On getting home found Darlington had won their tie and was very much looking forward to receiving them in the next tie. However the following day when the balls were drawn they got Gateshead and we got Consett...

Kinky Afro

"Son, I'm thirty. I only went with your mother coz she's dirty..."

I turned thirty today. At least I got a birthday tweet off Rowetta.

Connoisseur

I've made it in life. I'm one of life's Connoisseurs.

Strictly members only.

The Andy Capp Sunday League

Bedlington Terriers vs. Durham City

With Pools playing down in Exeter I took in a local non league game this weekend. Although 'local' may be stretching it, as the journey from Durham to Bedlington is similar to Hartlepool - Exeter in terms of Northern League proportions.

I find places north of Newcastle strange. It's like you've dropped off the end of the world. Civilisation (if you can call Geordies civilised) ends at Kenton Bank Foot and after that it's all Northumbrian outposts, no doubt given a hard time by the Picts and Vikings, but then most recently and cripplingly, by Conservative governments. Bedlington is one of these outposts built on coal then to lose it's collieries. It seems to be coping fairly well mind, the Town wasn't quite as bleak as I was expecting and it seems to be coping better than its rival, the heroin capital of the North, Blyth. Unemployment, crime and drugs are probably sky high but at least the people of Bedlington seem to be getting on with life.

Which explains while non of them go to the football. The home attendance was poor and the City fans outnumbered the Terriers. It's possible that some Bedlingtoners are still trying to find the ground as its location is a bit tucked away. Dr Pit Welfare Park. Should have called it the G spot of Bedlington. Anyway it's a traditional ramshackle ground in the middle of a housing estate. Difficult to find and even more difficult to imagine in its heyday - small with limited facilities - I couldn't imagine thousands being packed in back in the day, or indeed when Colchester came up in the 1st round in the 90s.

They're a proud club mind with a decent history. Only in the late 90s the club put itself on the map winning two Northumberland cups on the bounce, and in 98/99 beat Colchester on MOTD 4-1 and runners up in the Vase final of the same year.

They seemed to have reached rock bottom. The poor gate possibly stemmed from conceding 13 goals in the last two games, and it was with that in mind Durham went all out on the attack in the first half. Wave after wave was fortunately kept out, bar two, and the game should have been buried. City 2-0 at the break, one an unlucky own goal, and the game apparently safe.

At half time a peppery Bovril and a bit of sporty celeb spotting. Cricketer Steve Harmison and former Newcastle left back, and now a resident north easterner, Frenchman Olivier Bernard were in attendance.

In the second half, kicking into the wind, Durham self destructed. Was a keystone Cop feel about the way the played. Kicking the ball straight to Beds, slipping over, handballs, corners taken from outside the D and two potential red cards, led to a shocking display that saw Bedlington claw it back and eventually take the lead. Durham finally got into a bit of a rhythm at the end, hitting the post, bar and having one hacked off the line, but it was too little too late.

3-2 to Terriers. Three points to them and we were 33 miles from civilisation.

Lads and Dads

The Hartlepool Pub Guide

They're all rough as fuck.

Model Football Stadiums

Stumbled across this site the other day. A Brighton fan who makes models of football stadiums, with painstakingly breathtaking detail it has to be said. Some of his work can be seen at the National Football Museum, but if you can't make it to Manchester to see them close up, the rest can be found on his website www.modelfootballstadiums.com . He hasn't got too many to view, given the timescales involved with each piece, but those he's done are well worth a look...

Top to bottom - Chesterfield's Kop, Brighton's Goldstone, Man City's Kippax, Old Trafford and Brighton's Amex

Spion Kops

Named in memorial of the Boer War battle site, Spion Kops were plentiful nationwide back in the day. Sharing traits with the legendary battle ground, being steeply banked and very high, the Kop Ends became the site of the most vocal fans at football grounds. Unfortunately they've died a death, much like the Boers, partisan terracing replaced by seating or by plain and simple ground relocation. Few snaps of some of my favourites, Liverpool ommitted as any one else would think they had the only Kop...

Steve Harper Testimonial

If ever a player deserved a testimonial it's Steve Harper. Despite only playing 199 games for Newcastle, he's the longest serving player in their history (by some stretch) with two decades of unflinchingly loyal service.

Signed from Seaham Red Star in 1993, he provided back up cover to many a goalkeeper but stayed loyal to the black and white cause. Successful loans, in particular with Hartlepool and Huddersfield, led to calls for a move away in search of first team football (and with it no doubt glory and riches), but Steve's head couldn't be turned as he waited for his chance. It arrived in 09/10 when the club plied their trade in the Championship when he finally became first choice. That season he kept 20 clean sheets which is a Toon club record. Hung out to dry by the clubs owners in the summer of 2013, no coaching or even an ambassador role offered, he joined Hull. The Toon fans demanded an event to celebrate his service and their calls were rewarded with a charity match with AC Milan.

With Steve being an ex Pools player I jumped at the chance to head up to St James's to witness a special night. Even I was awed by the players on show. AC Milan introduced first and getting a great reception, Maldini and Costacurta in particular getting cheers as if they were ex Newcastle players. Sunderland boss Paolo Di Canio, an AC player circa 1994, was introduced last to a chorus of boos and he emerged from the tunnel hamming up the panto villain role, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd.

The Toon squad included Albert, Beresford, Dabizas, Ginola, Beardsley, Cole, Ferdinand, Tino and Shearer. And for once Harper got the nod over Given.

The game, as always with charity games, was a bit flat on the pitch as knackered legs, grey hair and beer guts took there tole. Annoyingly, for the Toon faithful at least, Di Canio was the best player on the pitch, and on that evidence could do worse than select himself for his struggling Sunderland side. He dashed around unchecked, until the second half when sub Joey Barton  delivered a vicious raking down the Italians calf. He took it with a smile on his face, despite the standing ovation and jeers from the Mags.

Meanwhile the main man Harper had a decent spell in goal, saving well from a couple of classy eyetie efforts, and waving to the crowd. He came off halfway through the first and carried on from the dugout as manager of the legends. He could only manage a nil nil draw, despite having some fearsome, yet aging, strikers to choose from. Cole still looked sharp despite being out of the game for some five years and twice forced great saves from Massimo Taibi and also hitting the post.

Penalties it was and the former Man United reject Taibi spoiled things by saving the first two spot kicks as Milan converted theirs past Newcastle's Srnicek. Harper strolled up to take the third and Taibi held his hands up in mock surrender. He jumped slightly to the side, upright, legs together and arms firmly by his side in an attempt to let Harps strike past him. Unfortunately the ball struck his knee and bounced out, to his, Harper's and the crowds dismay...

AC Glorie the victors then. Not the fairytale result, but the night itself was. 50 thousand people, including Ant and Dec, packed in St James's to call time on Harper's twenty years and raise some funds for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation.

Non League Day

Patronising. The Premiership is off and as the rest of the local Football League teams must be shite and not worth a wank, let's go slumming it at some ramshackle ground and laugh at the people who put up with this standard week in week out. Standing in the sparse windswept stand with a man and his dog, watching a fairly priced, free flowing, grass roots game is okay for the day, we can put up with it for two hours on the set day Twitter decides, but next week we'll be back in our cosy £40 plastic seats watching glamorous superstar millionaires play out a nil nil with Stoke City. That's what it's all about. Then non league goes on not existing until Tamworth put Forest out in the 3rd round. Commendable but it matters not a jot to us because the pyramid ends with 20th position...

Fuck off Premiership fans. You're not welcome.