Cult Poolies - Brian Horne

Five foot odd and roughly 15 stone, this keeper didn't even look like a professional footballer, let alone a cult hero. But he was to Pools fans. Horne had played some 160 plus games for Londoners Millwall in the late 80s, had a few premiership games on loan at Middlesbrough in '92 and duly arrived at Hartlepool via Portsmouth on a free in 1994. Despite his physical appearance he won the fans over with his whole hearted displays and superb shot stopping.

Flying Pig vs. Darlo

 In a very poor Pools squad, Horne exceeded with some superb displays between the sticks. He was pretty much unchallenged in 94/95, almost being ever present in goal - the only bright spot in another disappointing season. The next season was a hero in a League cup derby with Scarborough, the match drawn over two legs went to penalties - Brian saving a couple of spot kicks in the shootout before stepping up to convert one himself. He did blot his copy book somewhat in the next round by getting sent off in a heavy defeat by Arsenal.

Premiership class with Boro

Firmly established in the heavy drinking culture that surrounded professional football back then, Horne was out on the piss with Tony Adams the night the England skipper drove home intoxicated, wrecked his car and was subsequently jailed. That pastime caught up with him by the time he'd reached Hartlepool, and his portly figure led to disgust and derision from Pools boss Keith Houchen. Houch described Horne as a 'fat slob' in his autobiography and did his best to force him out, using four hastily assembled and substandard loanees. None worked out and Houchen was reluctantly forced to play Brian. It pitted the fans against the player manager, disappointing given the amount of goals he'd bagged in two spells at Pools, prompting him to hit back at the supporters: "there are a lot of shit people following every club. They are everywhere, that type, with brains the size of a pea. I wouldn't keep the players they wanted, players who were patently not good enough and were really, really bad professionals... the majority of them are nasty people. There are more of them at Hartlepool than elsewhere – without a shadow of doubt"

It all ended on Saturday 6th April 1996 when a relegation threatened Pools were trailing two nil half time at Gillingham. A shocking on field spat between the Horne and Houchen almost came to blows, and led to the mananger subbing him off on the spot for the much maligned Steve Jones. It was to be Horne's last appearance for United. Keith Houchen didn't last much longer either, resigning early into 96/97.

Horne took a year out from the came before returning to the semi professional game in his native South East, first with Dover in 97/98 and Farnborough the following season. Brian now works commentating on the odd game with first club Millwall, and also organizes the annual Atlantic Cup competition with former Arsenal midfielder Stefan Schwarz.

Young Lion - Millwall Days

Hats on or off?

Hats On

* The Bobble
The bobble hat has seen a re-surge of popularity in the past few years, no doubt with some part played by the exclusive Tom Weirs by Casualco. Three colourways are released in limited numbers of 50, sell out in minutes on said website for £25, then cruelly appearing on eBay a couple days later for often treble the RRP. The bobble hat is sometimes associated with nerds like bird watchers and trainspotters, but despite this is the ulimate in cool winter warmers as it evades the attention of the fashionists. It's hip to be square.

Casualco.com

*The Trapper
The trapper is as quality as it is functional. Again wins cool points as it does look a bit silly. Flaps can be worn up for that Russian cab driver look or down to protect ears from frostbite in Arctic conditions - or during January mid week games.

Fjall Raven

*The Flat Cap
Maybe because it's because I'm a Northerner that I rate these so highly. One for the Northern League dwellers, pigeon fanciers and whippet breaders. And the odd clued up chap. Tweed caps are proving to be quite popular at the moment, another hat proving that it has a cooler rep now than in the past. As Northern as a road sign saying THE NORTH in, well, the North.

A. Moon Tweed

*The Bucket
A hat made famous by the Madchester and early Britpop scene, the bucket is predominantly found on heads come summer, particularly at music festivals. Worn by those trying to emulate Reni and Liam Gallagher, but less so Man City boss Roberto Mancini. Quite a functional hat as keeps sun out of eyes as well as rain off the head. My personal favourite is the Kangol Spray, but they loss brownie points for churning out those god awful fluffy hip-hop ones.

Stone Roses Reunion Bucket

Hats Off

*The Cap
Worn by everyone and anyone. The baseball cap is synonymous with chav culture, but saying that you don't seem to see them as much these days. Which is probably a good thing given the vulgar house check designs that single handedly brought Burberry to it's knees in reputation stakes. I do have a problem with the Stone Island ones that are doing the rounds at the moment - even the genuine ones look fake. Being the cheaper of S.I.s range this is the SPW garment that lots of young whippersnappers opt for with their pocket money, hoping for top boy status. Gay boy status i'd say. Shit.

Stone Island

*The Beanie
It's like a bobble hat but minus the bobble. And to be fair they ain't all bad, there's a lot of good ones out there. But they lose points for those who throw one on with a t-shirt in the height of friggin summer. Again Stone Island deserve a mention for their thoughtless and unoriginal version. Sticking their trademark button patch on the front of a beanie really wasn't a masterstroke. I thought things couldn't get any worse... until I saw the CP Company goggle ones. Sigh.

CP Company

 *The Deerstalker
These never looked good and are best left in the confines of the mid 80s. If I saw some country gent wearing one combined with a Barbour jacket, shotgun and gun dog I'd probably laugh, even though he genuinely has a right to wear one. So imagine what I'll do if I see some 17 year old on the terrace combining one with Sergio trackie top. I'll point and fucking laugh.

80s Casuals

*The Trilby
Unless you're one of the seven members of Madness or one of the Blues Brothers then you haven't got the right to wear a trilby. One for the old boys as part of their Sunday best, after wearing the flat cap on a saturday. Another hat which has it's chequered past thanks to Aquascutum et al.

Aquascutum

World Book Day

The printed word is sacred in this house, and therefore my purchases of books are not frowned upon by the wife like clobber ones are. So to celebrate World Book Day, take a lesson in literature here with these recommendations...

First up Bill Routledge's excellent Northern Monkeys. Refreshingly for a casualesque book, it doesn't start with Scousers nicking Lacoste in 1979, but back with the sharp yet dangerous Teds, to the talc footed Northern Soul dancers and through to the boots and braces of skins. This ultimate bible on every major youth cult from the 1950s to the present day, and how each individual movement has shaped the way us lads dress today. If you want bullshit ''ten of us ran five thousand of them'' ten-a-penny hoolie accounts crudely written by a ghost, then this isn't for you. I know I promised a book review on this but won't bother - It's hardly hot off the press as this is the second edition. Was disappointed to miss out with the limited print first time around, but quite pleased I did. Got this direct from the author and it's signed personally. Lovely.

Next up is the Irvine Welsh Omnibus - Trainspotting, Acid House and the Marabou Stork Nightmares. Got a few other Welsh's for Christmas, but surprisingly non of this novels so was able to snap this up with all three rolled into one. Bought from ex charity shop bookseller World of Books for the princely sum of 99p (and another two quid postage). At 920 pages long that works out approx 0.00325p per page. And they say there's a recession on. Tried reading Trainspotting as a young teenager and couldn't get round the Scotch dialect - so I copped out and bought the film. Older and more mature, and shamefully a Welsh virgin (not many of them around - have you been to Cardiff?), have decided to give the cult books a go in all their Scotch wrote glory. Here's hoping I succeed as I've got six of the fuckers now.

Proper Magazine issue lucky number 13. Bought out of habit but has to be said I'm not immediately feeling this issue. Very commendable they've gone for a spring/summer theme (Surfing) but I know I'm not the only person doesn't really get excited by summer swag. Short sleeves shirts and shorts may be canny for hot weather, but they certainly don't get me sweating with excitement like Hikerdelic jackets or Scandinavian knitwear. Still sure it'll be a good read.

Actually got this a long time ago but don't think I've actually charted it on the blog. Got from Oxfam for a few quid, this is the illustrated history of Subbuteo. An interesting read regarding the nations favourite sport game from humble beginnings to global success to terminal decline. Plenty photos including everyone' favourite the 'Kit chart'.