The Hartlepool Pub Guide

They're all rough as fuck.

Model Football Stadiums

Stumbled across this site the other day. A Brighton fan who makes models of football stadiums, with painstakingly breathtaking detail it has to be said. Some of his work can be seen at the National Football Museum, but if you can't make it to Manchester to see them close up, the rest can be found on his website www.modelfootballstadiums.com . He hasn't got too many to view, given the timescales involved with each piece, but those he's done are well worth a look...

Top to bottom - Chesterfield's Kop, Brighton's Goldstone, Man City's Kippax, Old Trafford and Brighton's Amex

Spion Kops

Named in memorial of the Boer War battle site, Spion Kops were plentiful nationwide back in the day. Sharing traits with the legendary battle ground, being steeply banked and very high, the Kop Ends became the site of the most vocal fans at football grounds. Unfortunately they've died a death, much like the Boers, partisan terracing replaced by seating or by plain and simple ground relocation. Few snaps of some of my favourites, Liverpool ommitted as any one else would think they had the only Kop...

Steve Harper Testimonial

If ever a player deserved a testimonial it's Steve Harper. Despite only playing 199 games for Newcastle, he's the longest serving player in their history (by some stretch) with two decades of unflinchingly loyal service.

Signed from Seaham Red Star in 1993, he provided back up cover to many a goalkeeper but stayed loyal to the black and white cause. Successful loans, in particular with Hartlepool and Huddersfield, led to calls for a move away in search of first team football (and with it no doubt glory and riches), but Steve's head couldn't be turned as he waited for his chance. It arrived in 09/10 when the club plied their trade in the Championship when he finally became first choice. That season he kept 20 clean sheets which is a Toon club record. Hung out to dry by the clubs owners in the summer of 2013, no coaching or even an ambassador role offered, he joined Hull. The Toon fans demanded an event to celebrate his service and their calls were rewarded with a charity match with AC Milan.

With Steve being an ex Pools player I jumped at the chance to head up to St James's to witness a special night. Even I was awed by the players on show. AC Milan introduced first and getting a great reception, Maldini and Costacurta in particular getting cheers as if they were ex Newcastle players. Sunderland boss Paolo Di Canio, an AC player circa 1994, was introduced last to a chorus of boos and he emerged from the tunnel hamming up the panto villain role, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd.

The Toon squad included Albert, Beresford, Dabizas, Ginola, Beardsley, Cole, Ferdinand, Tino and Shearer. And for once Harper got the nod over Given.

The game, as always with charity games, was a bit flat on the pitch as knackered legs, grey hair and beer guts took there tole. Annoyingly, for the Toon faithful at least, Di Canio was the best player on the pitch, and on that evidence could do worse than select himself for his struggling Sunderland side. He dashed around unchecked, until the second half when sub Joey Barton  delivered a vicious raking down the Italians calf. He took it with a smile on his face, despite the standing ovation and jeers from the Mags.

Meanwhile the main man Harper had a decent spell in goal, saving well from a couple of classy eyetie efforts, and waving to the crowd. He came off halfway through the first and carried on from the dugout as manager of the legends. He could only manage a nil nil draw, despite having some fearsome, yet aging, strikers to choose from. Cole still looked sharp despite being out of the game for some five years and twice forced great saves from Massimo Taibi and also hitting the post.

Penalties it was and the former Man United reject Taibi spoiled things by saving the first two spot kicks as Milan converted theirs past Newcastle's Srnicek. Harper strolled up to take the third and Taibi held his hands up in mock surrender. He jumped slightly to the side, upright, legs together and arms firmly by his side in an attempt to let Harps strike past him. Unfortunately the ball struck his knee and bounced out, to his, Harper's and the crowds dismay...

AC Glorie the victors then. Not the fairytale result, but the night itself was. 50 thousand people, including Ant and Dec, packed in St James's to call time on Harper's twenty years and raise some funds for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation.

Non League Day

Patronising. The Premiership is off and as the rest of the local Football League teams must be shite and not worth a wank, let's go slumming it at some ramshackle ground and laugh at the people who put up with this standard week in week out. Standing in the sparse windswept stand with a man and his dog, watching a fairly priced, free flowing, grass roots game is okay for the day, we can put up with it for two hours on the set day Twitter decides, but next week we'll be back in our cosy £40 plastic seats watching glamorous superstar millionaires play out a nil nil with Stoke City. That's what it's all about. Then non league goes on not existing until Tamworth put Forest out in the 3rd round. Commendable but it matters not a jot to us because the pyramid ends with 20th position...

Fuck off Premiership fans. You're not welcome.

Sir Peter Blake