Kinky Afro

"Son, I'm thirty. I only went with your mother coz she's dirty..."

I turned thirty today. At least I got a birthday tweet off Rowetta.

Connoisseur

I've made it in life. I'm one of life's Connoisseurs.

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The Andy Capp Sunday League

Bedlington Terriers vs. Durham City

With Pools playing down in Exeter I took in a local non league game this weekend. Although 'local' may be stretching it, as the journey from Durham to Bedlington is similar to Hartlepool - Exeter in terms of Northern League proportions.

I find places north of Newcastle strange. It's like you've dropped off the end of the world. Civilisation (if you can call Geordies civilised) ends at Kenton Bank Foot and after that it's all Northumbrian outposts, no doubt given a hard time by the Picts and Vikings, but then most recently and cripplingly, by Conservative governments. Bedlington is one of these outposts built on coal then to lose it's collieries. It seems to be coping fairly well mind, the Town wasn't quite as bleak as I was expecting and it seems to be coping better than its rival, the heroin capital of the North, Blyth. Unemployment, crime and drugs are probably sky high but at least the people of Bedlington seem to be getting on with life.

Which explains while non of them go to the football. The home attendance was poor and the City fans outnumbered the Terriers. It's possible that some Bedlingtoners are still trying to find the ground as its location is a bit tucked away. Dr Pit Welfare Park. Should have called it the G spot of Bedlington. Anyway it's a traditional ramshackle ground in the middle of a housing estate. Difficult to find and even more difficult to imagine in its heyday - small with limited facilities - I couldn't imagine thousands being packed in back in the day, or indeed when Colchester came up in the 1st round in the 90s.

They're a proud club mind with a decent history. Only in the late 90s the club put itself on the map winning two Northumberland cups on the bounce, and in 98/99 beat Colchester on MOTD 4-1 and runners up in the Vase final of the same year.

They seemed to have reached rock bottom. The poor gate possibly stemmed from conceding 13 goals in the last two games, and it was with that in mind Durham went all out on the attack in the first half. Wave after wave was fortunately kept out, bar two, and the game should have been buried. City 2-0 at the break, one an unlucky own goal, and the game apparently safe.

At half time a peppery Bovril and a bit of sporty celeb spotting. Cricketer Steve Harmison and former Newcastle left back, and now a resident north easterner, Frenchman Olivier Bernard were in attendance.

In the second half, kicking into the wind, Durham self destructed. Was a keystone Cop feel about the way the played. Kicking the ball straight to Beds, slipping over, handballs, corners taken from outside the D and two potential red cards, led to a shocking display that saw Bedlington claw it back and eventually take the lead. Durham finally got into a bit of a rhythm at the end, hitting the post, bar and having one hacked off the line, but it was too little too late.

3-2 to Terriers. Three points to them and we were 33 miles from civilisation.

Lads and Dads