Bill Murray Style

The iconic genius is not only known for his superb acting and comedic timing but also for his fine, yet outlandish, clobber. Some of what he wears shouldn't look good but it fucking well does.

Stay tuned for another post on Mr. Murray in the not too distant future...

Cobblers Clobber

Couple of trotter purchases. Cleared out four pairs of trainers, deeply upset that the arse had fallen out of eBay (70 quid for a pair of size 10 2004 orange/brown Trimm Trab? Fuck off) but it worked in my favour with this pair of One True Saxon Edwa boots. Winning bid 99p. Then six quid postage. But when they arrived the postage label said £7.45. So technically got them for minus 46 pence. Poor sod of a seller. Happy buyer.

Canny pleased with them though. From back in the day before OTS was available in Littlewoods and designed by future Garbstore lynchpin Ian Paley. Nice suede brown desert boot style but with moccasin stitching round the toe. The camouflage bit is a touch of class as well and makes them stand out for me.

Next up is simplicity itself. These soft cotton deck shoes in a classic navy are by M&S Blue Harbour and are a inexpensive addition to the summer shoe collection. Less then twenty quid the simple design would work be it Primark or Sperry Top Sider - but pleased it's BH.

 With the piss poor May weather hopefully behind us and an impending heatwave en route, looking forward to teaming these with a cool polo shirt, cargo shorts and bucket hat. For that authentic England at the European Championship look - minus the pub patio furniture leaving my hands.

Euros Skeptic

Euro 92 - Swedes 2 Turnips 1

English disease in Malmo

96 - Penalty defeat to Germans again

The nearly men

Tears of a Clown

2000 - Exit Finger

2004 - Rooney goes home injured...

And the hopes of a nation go with that Penalty.

2008 - Mishap

Didn't even make it.

Swedish Snow Parka

Unbranded, unissued but certainly unmissable, I picked up this C50 Swedish snow parka from eBay for an apple core. Apparently the jacket that inspired similar Nigel Cabourn pieces, this oversized parka was designed for the Swede military to go over their uniforms. Windproof and water resistant, this is ideal for operations in the Arctic tundra. Or Victoria Park Hartlepool, where the temperatures are similar. This is a big old boy of a coat. Size large but a massive 29 inches pit to pit, meaning for someone like meself who is XL/XXL it swamps me - it's a like a two man tent. However the drawstring waist brings it in and makes it wearable. Thinking of doing a dye job and going for navy, as my thickest jumper (which would help fill it out) is blue. A simple but effective design style, it's easy to see how and why it influence one of cult fashions biggest names...

Happy Mondays @ Newcastle

Me and our kid are on the rattler to Toon, excited at the prospect of seeing the Happy Mondays original line up play together for the first time in 19 years. The Ryder brothers reunited after over a decade of hating each others guts. Bez, Mark Day, Knobhead, Gazza Whelan and Rowetta completing Madchester's finest.

It's been a long time coming for those guys, nearly two decades since the ill fated 'Yes, Please' caused ill temper and the breakup of the Mondays. Back in previous forms and line ups as far as 2007 but never the original bunch. And they're playing their first reunion gig in Newcastle. Good times.

We're having a few jars in the pub round the corner. Usual crowd milling about wetting their whistle. Ageing chaps who remember them first time around, resplendent in their Lyle & Scott, CP Company et. al. Never understand lads wearing their best gear at gigs considering there'll be bottles of piss flying round later. I'm dressing it down in a vintage RL harrington and battered Trimm Trabs. I'm telling the tale that Rowetta has retweeted/replied to me three times in 48 hours. The little tease. We sink a few lagers, rib a guy who wants to be Liam Gallagher (who isn't going to the gig), give a cheer when 'Step On' comes on the jukey and slope off to the O2.

In the academy and overpriced Carlsberg I'm jealously eyeing up the Happy Mondays bucket hats the merch stalls are selling, kicking myself that I only brought beer vouchers. The Inspiral Carpets come on as support earlier than expected and do a cracking job of rousing the crowd with a handful of quality tunes. Clint Boon plays up to the 'Boon Army' and seems quite emotional that its the first time the Carpets have played together for awhile too. I make the mistake of seeing out their set before going for a slash and join every gent in the place in a queue for the one set of khazi's.

Then there's a long old wait of anticipation waiting for the guys to come out. Eventually Bez swaggers out to a massive cheer and introduces the guys. They come out of the wings to critical acclaim and kick us off with Loose Fit. The crowd, including myself and the lad, go mental, but more so when Bez comes back out for some Freaky Dancin for Kinky Afro. He disappears after this - well he is a grandad.

Hit after hit and tune and tune come out from the Mondays. Shaun swearing a lot and living up to his lead role, checking the setlist sellotaped to the floor and ribbing Bez about his aftershow party being very exclusive - pay the six quid or have excellent tits and you're in. Paul and Mark do an excellent job on respective guitars and Rowetta looks and sounds great. The sound is a little muffled but they're doing a smashing job. They can play and are doing it as if they have been doing it for 19 years.

Anxiously checking watch as the last train to Durham looms. Ryder breaks into 'Step On', Bez reappearing to bop around. The crowd noise goes up a couple of decibels and I'm thinking they can't possibly do an encore after Step On. Alas they do and theres no fucking way I'm leaving for the train. They reappear and go to Mr. Jellybean followed by WFL. Then it's off the stage enroute to tomorrow's gig in Glasgow with Newcastle cheering them all the way there. Great reviews to follow on this tour if tonight's show is anything to go by.

Me and our kid leave - all sweaty bodies, passive weed stink, stale beer fug clouding and piss stained shoes. We find a bus stop and get on the last double decker of the night to the land of Prince Bishops. Sat on the top deck, flying through dark silent streets we relived the songs, me slightly disappointed 'Tart Tart' wasn't on the menu. Still 'God's Cop' and 'Holiday' were. Pleased about that.

The Mondays playing together for the first time in 19 years. And we were there. Champion.

Holiday Essentials

It's back to the Scottish seaside town of Eyemouth next week - only 5 weeks ago we were there for the scorching hot march weather. All cliff top caravans, out of season empty beaches, lazy pub lunches, fish and chip teas and the bairns first steps. We loved it so much we're going again, this time with her family (in another caravan mind...hopefully one in a different village) and thought I'd share with you my holiday checklist.

First up with the weather looking non too pleasant, us having the wettest drought in history and let's face it, it's Scotland, the main order of the day has got to be cagoules. And shed loads of them. All the colours of a (dark) rainbow for keeping myself and the family dry (but not hers).

Next up for those piss wet long evenings of being holed up in a white plastic coffin on rigid stays, you'll need a decent pack of cards. Great for knockout wist, patience and strip snap. Although probably not much of the last one. I was telling my mate the other day about how when I first met the wife I took her home and we played cards. His reply ''Poker?'' Mine ''No, we just had a bit of a cuddle''.

 To go with those nights of ripping off the in-laws by marking cards you'll need a nice drop of ale. Well quickly brewed gassy amber fluid. And when in Rome do as the Romans (not shag your sister, stab your leader or fight with Asterix the Gaul) and opt for Tennents. Smashing bit of lager pop. Being only an hour and a half away from the Scotch border it's a bit disappointing Sainsburys Durham don't import it. I'll have to smuggle some past passport control.

If the weather clears of a night then it'll be time to do what the Brits do best. Dress up nice and smart before visiting the sites sub standard and worn out entertainment facility/restaurant/disco/amenities block. I'm on holiday I'm having a good time. So don a nice bit of Ralph, gobble down scampi in a basket, a few sherberts, badly out of tune 'Angels' on the karaoke, and then groove the night away to such classics as 'The Musicman' and 'The Timewarp'.

Time to take it easy the following morning so perhaps a nice read whilst your head clears. Heading to the back of beyond on a canny journey puts me in mind for the memoirs of a journeyman goalkeeper. Budgie is on loan from DCC library services and charts the tale of mad cap keeper John Burridge. Quite apt as he probably turned out for Eyemouth FC during his 500 odd club career.
Also picked up 'Saturday is Service Day' in the charity booksale round Newton Hall library. A suspiciously thin and a potentially all bullshit account of Motherwell's rough element. Apparently they were established in 1983 like myself, but I dare say more people have heard of me. Our clothing tastes vary too because the chap waving the Union flag on the front appears to be wearing a Reebok jumper. Regardless it's about Scotland and FV, and most importantly was only 20p - which is a mammoth saving of £9.80 on the RRP. And there is a recession on guys. That's why mums go to...the library.

Staying in this night after that bloody shambles last night. I don't remember dancing on the table. The patio one of the caravan opposite that is. So watch a nice light-hearted and topical DVD. If you can find the DVD player. Not joking. Last time we arrived on the Monday and only found out about it on the Thursday. Built into the flat screen? What? How? If it isn't Beta Max we're not interested. Anyway the DVD choice isn't really light hearted but topical, gripping and essential viewing.

Next up the bairns England kit. Because we're English and we're abroad. And we're English.

Next an essential piece of non illegal kit, the Victorinox original Swiss Army knife in go faster red. It's not a classy Connoisseur one but I've had this for roughly 15-18 years and has been with me through thick and thin - usually safely back at home under my bed where it poses no threat/use. The ultimate survival tool - will keep you alive in the desert for a year. Without water. So it'll be handy in a Gold Plus static holiday home. Also offers some protection to your family from caravaning burglars - ''back off lads, he's got some tweezers''.

Finally those bits of clobber that you only seem to wear when on hols. The baby blue Stoney cardigan for example. Bright and gaudy short sleeve summer shirts you'll wear because you're on holiday and won't except it's fucking freezing - but you'll take time off work with a chill on your kidneys when you get back. Also the Hackett rugger shirt made famous by Goodbye Charlie Bright. The one with a St. George cross on the back. Again because we're England on tour in another country. Nothing says juxtaposition like drinking Scotch lager and wearing an Eng-er-land flag.