Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Mr. Paul Heaton

To celebrate the fact that Paul Heaton is back on tour soon promoting his latest album, I'm going to take a minute to reflect on the reasons why Mr. Heaton is cool as fuck...

He Loves his Football...
Hometown team Sheffield United are his obvious passion, but his love for the game manifests itself in other ways too. In the mid nineties, when the Italian game was light years ahead of our dull old boring game, Heaton was often a panelist on Channel Fours 'Football Italia' as a "Italian Football Expert". In fact Inter were his second team and he'd often travel to Milan to watch them play, despite a round trip of some 90 hours. Other than that he collects random bits of memorabilia for his 'Football Room' at his Hull home - Fanzines, badges, programmes and stickers etc. And numerous replica shirts, from Ajax to Zaragoza. But not to wear of course, because he "doesn't understand grown men wearing replica shirts to games..."

His Music Is Uncool...
Therefore it's cool. Think about it (for a minute). The Housemartins. Spotty, specky geeky student types in plastic hooligan clobber and gayish sounding lyrics. Uncool. The Beautiful South. Plain sounding middle of the road pop with Country and Western vibes. Uncool. Both seldom in fashion in their day. Uncool. But I love both bands dearly. Cool.

He hates the Premiership...
“The ambition to get in the Premiership is a false one. I have no problem with us staying where we are. I would like the players to be rewarded for their effort, but there would be a fear of losing in the Premiership, a fear of being ferried around by police and not being able to have a drink. Premiership fans are more arrogant too. I liked it when we were in the Third and Fourth Division. There was more of a bond between players and fans.”
Read more at http://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/paul-heaton-sing-when-youre-winning#g0TxGCp8Zc20y4Zu.99
“The ambition to get in the Premiership is a false one. I have no problem with us staying where we are. I would like the players to be rewarded for their effort, but there would be a fear of losing in the Premiership, a fear of being ferried around by police and not being able to have a drink. Premiership fans are more arrogant too. I liked it when we were in the Third and Fourth Division. There was more of a bond between players and fans.” Can't argue with that.
“The ambition to get in the Premiership is a false one. I have no problem with us staying where we are. I would like the players to be rewarded for their effort, but there would be a fear of losing in the Premiership, a fear of being ferried around by police and not being able to have a drink. Premiership fans are more arrogant too. I liked it when we were in the Third and Fourth Division. There was more of a bond between players and fans.”
Read more at http://www.fourfourtwo.com/features/paul-heaton-sing-when-youre-winning#g0TxGCp8Zc20y4Zu.99

He's a Dresser...
He ran with the Blades Business Crew, even after becoming famous with the Housemartins, and openly admits to finding "Hooliganism fascinating". So much so the designer clobber has left a lasting impression on him. View any YouTube footage of mid nineties Beautiful South gigs, and you'll see Heaton strutting his stuff whilst flashing a cult compass label on his left arm. Other brand tipples seen sporting include Navy Arctic goggles, Lyle & Scott parkas, adidas trainers and Ralph caps / bucket hats.

He's Left Wing...
Anti establishment. Anti capitalist. Anti royalist. Anti Conservative. He's angry. It's embedded in his song lyrics and his furrowed brow. And he was preaching his Socialist ideals and flying the red flag long before it was trendy. If he wasn't famous you get the impression MI5 might have taken him out by now.

He's a Smartarse...
When the Beautiful South split up it was due to "Musical similarities". Make a Housemartins album poking fun at the fact Kingston upon Hull had better bands than the smoke and it's "London 0, Hull 4". When Thatcher died he was interviewed, as the token Famous Socialist, and denounced her policies/person etc, basically said the Iron Lady could rust in peace, but then just for good measure decided to verbally attack modern day politicians he didn't like. So the interview was cut short.

He Hates David Cameron / Tories...
Heaton could never be blue.

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