Shaun Ryder is in Toon

Well that was better than expected. Mr. Ryder did himself proud, coming on early (half 8) and soldiering on for nearly an hour and a half - pretty damn good considering he was seriously ill last month. Starting with my personal favourite, Kinky Afro, he sang half a dozen Mondays songs throughout the course of the night including Loose Fit and Wrote For Luck, followed by three Black Grape numbers, which really stole the show. He also sang four new solo songs from a forthcoming album which were good, the last one (his first encore tune) was a belter. He also sang my guilty pleasure - Gorillaz DARE - which was a marvellous treat. The night was completed by the brilliant Step On. Top notch all round.

Yes there were glitches - MC Tonn and Julie, his two backing singers were much better vocally (but SWR never been much of a singer) and he was often muted by sound problems. Ryds had to check down once or twice at the lyrics taped to the floor (but not as often as expected), and unfortunately the venue was only half full (but everyone there idolized him). However he looked fit and well, still has his presence on stage and a cool new way of holding his mic.

Pleased the gig was postponed if I'm honest. Because ones that went ahead when he was still poorly drew up some crap reviews and negative assumptions about him (at Sheffield he only did half an hour before giving up and walking out to boos. Was because he was ill, not because he was showing contempt). This performance in Newcastle was a million miles away from this. SWR was a top professional - although he did forget where he was playing to - and although it wasn't a polished performance, it was a performance non the less and a pretty damn good one for nostalgic reminiscing.

Shaun Ryder Gig Preview

Off to see SWR tomorrow night at Newcastle o2. Had a canny wait - was postponed due to illness the very day I received my tickets. Typical. To be fair though the Ryder was genuinely ill and fair play to him for coming back fighting. Has had some pretty mixed reviews about his tour so far, where he's been singing Mondays, Black Grape and solo songs. Shambolic and chaotic are words been touted - so not at all in the Mondays spirit then...

Not really fussed if it's only an hour set, that Wrote For Luck is omitted, that he'll forget half the lyrics and that he'll have to be dragged through the songs by his backing singers. No, I'm buzzing at the fact I'm going to see a cultural icon and musical genius belt out some classic tunes from two of my favourite bands of all times. You can't put a price on that. Actually you can. £16. Bargain.

True Colours

Picked up these volumes one and two of 'True Colours', which contain photos of all the current and former Premiership teams (and Home Nations) kits from 1980 to mid 2000s. A cracking read, especially seeing the horrid kits some teams have worn - Man United's 'invisible' grey kit from 1995, Arsenal's 'bruised banana' kit from 1992 and Chelsea's grey/tangerine away shirt from 1996 to name but a few. Just a shame these books haven't gone as far the football league, as Hartlepool could give them a run for their money.

Not exactly a fan of replica shirts, have always preferred spending 50 sheets on a Lacoste polo instead of a cheaply made polyester top with sponsor plastered all over it. However replica shirts define our memories of seasons in terms of success or failure - poorly designed shirts can be fondly remember if the club won promotion for example. Anyway, I've been inspired to share a few of the appalling Hartlepool shirts since I've followed the Pools...

Home 1991/92 - The Chessboard
This checkerboard design in several shades of blue was a bit of a change from the clean design of the all white promotion shirt from the season before. Made to look even more daft by the Heritage homes sponsor with a large butterfly motif. Watford used the same template at the same time as an away kit, so it wasn't just us who suffered.

Brian Honour

1992-1993 Home - Hartlepool Heritage
A truly unique design by umbro and also a unique to Hartlepool United, although quite similar to Celtic's vulgar 'People's' kit. This was one of a batch of outlandish Umbro designs that graced 1992's 'reinvention' of Football, which apparently reached the kits of Division Two. Again the butterfly logo of Heritage homes didn't help, but this kit is fondly remembered as the one that Pools wore as they killed the giant, namely Crystal Palace, in the FA Cup 3rd round.

Andy Saville

 1993-95 Away - Green Day
The home version of this shirt design was (obviously) blue and was bad. But the away green was appalling. Maybe the club was hoping that the players couldn't be seen by the opposition when they took to the field. Saw two years worth of action and a change of badge, from the HUFC deer to the ships wheel.

1995-97 Away - Mix Match
This away shirt is the daddy of poorly designed mid 90s shirts. Pools took to the field looking like a playgroups art wall in this red, white and blue effort. So poorly thought of I even managed to pick a match worn version of this rare shirt off eBay for the princely sum of £4.20. A classic. Made even worse by the fact that the home shirt during this peroid was a beauty -  a white and light blue striped Argentina style loose fit with big collar.

Gareth McAuley

1995-98 Jeepers Keepers
Pools had a major problem with getting a decent custodian during this time period. Think we used almost ten keepers in a period of 800 odd days. Maybe it had something to do with the shocking keepers kit. Again with it being the mid 90s clubs keepers shirts were amongst the most outlandish, but nowt compared to this beauty. The makers '1908 Gold' obviously decided that gold was certainly a winner, especially when combined with a green hue. It wasn't. And neither was the away keepers shirt in same design but bright/dark pink.

Steve Jones

1997-99 Away - Grey Day
Two years after Manchester United made it fashionable and with all the hype surrounding players 'disappearing' on the pitch if they wore grey, Pools decided to bring out this cheeky little number. Not the worst granted but you have to wonder why given all the fuss with grey kits, why Pools chose it. Also incredibly cheaply made - my step brother owned this one and it fell apart in the wash. Probably the best thing for it.

Recent Purchases

Had a good rummage round in local TKMs and come away with a few choice bargains. Picked up a couple of Faconnable shirts for £13 each - nice casual blue check effort and a dressy stripey number for nights out on town. Pleased as punch with these, quality shirts for sweet FA.

Also got these OTS shoes for less than a tenner. Have instantly become my favourite shoes. Class look to them and go with everything. Have been obsessed with shoes since finding out I was to be a dad, as didn't want to look a proper chav in trainees all the time. Outed loads of trainers last autumn and got some Duffer Yogi and a few pairs of Pointers. But these are literally the dogs.

Finally could get some stick for this one - a Pretty Green shirt. Was in January sale and with that tenner e-voucher mentioned earlier, had it down from 70 notes to 39. Still a canny few bob for a shirt from a label most wouldn't touch with a barge pole, however I really like this colourway - brown, navy and blues. Was pleasantly surprised with the fit as I was expecting slim fit, but no, a true XL. Only criticism is that it could be an inch longer. And also that they've dropped the price by a tenner again, so could re-imburse me. However having a look into other colours now they're 28 quid - even though the service was less than perfect - sending a large first time around. Get it sorted Gallagher.

Guide to being a Dad

It's been nearly 7 weeks now, thought I'd share some things I've discovered on the rollercoaster journey of being a Dad...

Joe is your Friend
Get the coffee in. Drink it, smoke it, stick it on a spoon, burn and then inhale it. Or even take in a nice cheeky line of the finest Kenco pure Colombian. Either way you're going to need a caffeine hit to get you through the first couple of days. And by first couple of days, I mean the next 16 years of your life.

Clobber Close Down
Lock up the Lacoste, stash away your Stone Island and bury that Barbour. No point wearing owt decent for the foreseeable, what with drool, sick, piss and shit (although I'm used to that after a night out on North Road). High street the order of the day, stuff you don't mind getting wrecked - George, BHS and Primark. Real piss poor gear. And Penguin.

Brainwashing

Don't be afraid to inflict your beliefs on your offspring. Jake is only 50 odd days old and already supports Hartlepool United, likes his clothes, votes Labour and has a Nectar card.

Background Reading

Do your research before he arrives and read books on baby's, their behaviour and illnesses etc. I didn't and have regretted it. But I did read 'Hallelujah'. So I know nowt about the little mans behaviour, but I do know plenty about Shaun Ryder's on the Mondays '99 reunion tour. And that is invaluable.

Talk Talk
None of that baby talk rubbish, chat for real with your lad. You want a good natter as soon as he can - about Pools squad rotation, Nick Clegg being a cunt and the quality of latest Adidas reissues. What else are you going to do? Talk to the wife? Give over.

4am TV

When up in the early hours, embrace the chance to see the watershed in reverse. The other night I watched the tail end of Enemy at the Gate followed by Thomas the Tank Engine. And if you fancy being risque - the top end freeview channels have muted crack whores girating for the camera in their skiddies, talking to some night porter getting his rocks off on the other end of the phone. Showings finish 6am. And are then followed by Peppa Pig. She keeps her clothes on though. Disappointing.

Nutty Boys Remastered

Have all of Madness' albums in my substantial CD collection, but have recently gone back and replaced 'One Step Beyond' and 'Absolutely' (both bought in early 1990s and a bit tatty now) with their new remastered double CDs - containing the original album and another cd chock full of rarities.

One Step Beyond
Cracking debut album, up there in my top five albums of all time, containing classic Madness tracks like Night Boat, My Girl, Bed & Breakfast man, and of course the albums title track. Other gems combine bouncy fairground music mixed with some ather dark subject matter - Paedophilia (Mummys Boy), a lingerie sniffer (Middle of the Night) and ;ads in borstal (Land of Hope and Glory). The second CD is well worth having for the four John Peel sessions tracks - a CD by itself I've seen go for £50 on eBay. Or you can have it for £7.99 with One Step Beyond. Top notch.

Absolutely
Nutty boys second album. Was my second favourite until 1999s 'Wonderful' and the recent 'Liberty of Norton Folgate' blew it out of the water. Still a pretty good album, with a good looking cover sleeve of the lads outside Chalk Farm tube. Wouldn't have bothered upgrading this, until I saw the second CD - a full live performance from early 80s. Was obviously before my time so It's great to hear them in their heyday, performing tracks that they'd never pull out when on tour these days - the likes of E.R.N.I.E, Close Escape, Disappear and Rockin' in a Flat. Great stuff, well worth buying just for the live CD.

T

My Top 5 Madness Albums
1) One Step Beyond
2) Liberty of Norton Folgate
3) Wonderful
4) Absolutely
5) Keep Moving

Today I'll be mostly Wearing...

For todays jaunt to the MetroCentre -

Fjall Raven Ferndale jacket
CP Company ribbed cardigan
Polo by Ralph Lauren shirt
M&S stormwear jeans
Adidas Trimm Trab