Allan Johnston's Body Double

 When flicking through some fanzines for the recent Matchday Print post, I stumbled across something I'd forgotten about. That time I was a body double for a professional footballer. Really.

Back in 2004 I was living in Sunderland and was persuaded by some Mackems to go away to Millwall. Three of us wandered up Sheepfolds to visit A Love Supreme's headquarters to get coach tickets. ALS supremo Martyn McFadden then asked if we'd like to pose in some of his merchandise to go in the fanzine - specifically an FTM tee. 

MM said he was going to do a piece based on Lee Clarks ill fated SMB tee plus a couple other Sunderland players who left under a cloud. We obliged as I seem to recall a slight discount on coach tickets and it broke the ice for getting a journalism placement at ALS later in year (one published article is up on blog here, an interview with Ben Clark - just click on ALS on labels below).

We went to Millwall. They got beat. We were in the fanzine. Marky as Clarky (left), John as Micky Bridges (R) and I'm the angel as the centrefold - Allan Johnston.

Champ Man 97/98 - Best Players

Eleven weeks of lockdown. All that time to kill. For the first time in about 13 years I returned to Football Manager - FM20 handheld to be precise - and its slightly dumbed down, simple engine (compared to PC version) was easy to pick up, enjoyable and most importantly ate up some hours.

Anyway it opened a Pandora's box and got me reminiscing about older CM games with mates on whatsapp. So obviously that got us on to the classic CM97/98 and the players that made it. I thought I'd share with you my tactics/signings to make Hartlepool United a force in late 90s football.

First up a bit of tampering on data editor. Pears, O'Connor, Proctor, Cooper and Walton weren't at the club so were free transferred, and in their place came 1997s real life signings (no transfer window remember?) of Norwegian trio Martin Hollund, Stig Olav Larsen and Jan Ove Pedersen, plus Paul Stephenson from York. No extra cash or reputation, I just liked a bit of realism with proper players. 

Once uploaded most of the squad could be transfer listed bar the data ed players plus Lee, Barron, Howard, Beech and Halliday. Then it's time to get the cheque book out. Here's my top signings for Pools -

Goalkeeper

Hollund is a top keeper on the game and undisputed number one. Due to the lack of Norwegian custodians he'll often get called up for international duty as Pools rise through the leagues. But we need a capable deputy for cover and there's none better than Anthony Betterton. Available for free, he'd do a job at a higher level too - in reality he was a Swindon YTS releasee who played non league in Wiltshire.

(Whilst searching for him, you'd often see a young freebie keeper called Nicky Byrne who went on to have a career with Westlife)

Right-back

Johnny Wright. Never comes up on CM forums/chat as a good signing but was always immense for me. Young Norwich releasee who consistently gets seven ratings in division three and due to form usually gets capped for Northern Ireland. Then his value goes up and the big clubs circle.

Centre-backs

Andy Duncan & John Curtis. Two United youngsters often available on frees at the start of the game, although Curtis is sometimes harder to attire and you have to bring him on loan. Both rocks at the back and Curtis will go on to captain England.

Left-back

Can't think of any top LB signings I had, but always strived to bring Poolie hero Rab McKinnon back from Hearts. Gangly ginger Scot with moustache, he was a heart throb with the ladies at the Vic.

Right mid

Phil Mulryne. Another United youngster, often had to bide your time and get him once you'd raise a few bob. Worth every penny as he blossomed in lower leagues and another who'd regularly get called upon by Norn Iron. If I couldn't get him or he signed for someone else, I'd been known to quit and restart - he was such a favourite.

Centre mids

Orients Bjorn Heidenstrom could usually be picked up for £50k and could play at CB too. Fit in well with Pools Scandinavian revolution during that period.

My go to signing though was free transfer Marc Emmers. Veteran Belgian international who was tough tackling, led by example if you gave him the armband and never missed from the penalty spot.

Left mid

Another CM legend  Tommy Larsen from Leeds for about half a mill. Left wasn't his true position but his class shone through. Another Viking joining the Pools and Norses. In real life he was on trial with Hartlepool around 2001 but didn't sign, which was truly heartbreaking.

Centre forwards.

Erik Nevland and Graeme Tomlinson both often come up in conversation, but I had them both and don't remember them setting the world alight. Nevland in particular - I waited about three seasons for his release from United and then he was poor.

My favourite was James Quinn from Blackpool, big target man but would often go for big bucks. With Steve Howard often wanting to leave Pools for bigger club, gave me a few beans to play with and Quinn could be got, the perfect foil for Pedersen.

Another good div three striker was Andrew Mainwaring. Don't panic about the untrendy name, was worth the few quid from 'non league' club - perhaps Walmington's Old Boys? 

So there you have it, a world beating Hartlepool United side from 22 years ago. If only I'd got the job when Mick Tait was sacked.

For further reading on CM97/98 I recommend Dave Blacks excellent website ( https://cm9798.wordpress.com/) and his book (pictured) where he takes control of England at the World Cup 98 to see if he can do better than Hoddle. 

There's also a Quickly Kevin episode dedicated purely to CM97/98 that's excellent. In fact the whole series of the 90s football podcast is superb, so get it listened to if you haven't already.

Football Map

There's no place like home. Dorothy knew it. She must've known there's no place like your football clubs home either, as she (well, We Are Dorothy) has recreated the names of British football stadia into a quirky map. So she'll be able to find her way from Oz to Carrow Road.

Over 500 names are included, the majority famous football grounds but also 'map-tly' named training grounds (i.e Platt Lane), club names (Nottingham Forest) and players (David Rocastle). Hartlepool are represented twice with Victoria Park and Rink End making an appearance.

It's an inspired walkthrough famous names and places of British football. Available for £25 which given the match day prices for the majority of stadiums is a bargain.

Ince Ready For War

Found him in a charity shop for ten bob and thought I'd rejuvenate him to his blood and guts battling best.

You'd think that with a full time job, two small kids to raise, a holiday to pay for and the threat of eviction looming, I'd have better things to do. But apparently not.

Bobble Hat Goalkeeper

Jens Martin Knudsen. Everyone used to laugh at the Faroe Islands keeper and his silly trademark bobble hat. No player had ever worn a bobble on the field of play before or since, but Jens persistently kept his on despite ridicule. Looking back though, Europe's whipping boys comedy custodian was just a bobble hat connoisseur, showing true oneupmanship in the face of the haters. And also Austria's front line in 1990.

Cult Poolies - Brian Horne

Five foot odd and roughly 15 stone, this keeper didn't even look like a professional footballer, let alone a cult hero. But he was to Pools fans. Horne had played some 160 plus games for Londoners Millwall in the late 80s, had a few premiership games on loan at Middlesbrough in '92 and duly arrived at Hartlepool via Portsmouth on a free in 1994. Despite his physical appearance he won the fans over with his whole hearted displays and superb shot stopping.

Flying Pig vs. Darlo

 In a very poor Pools squad, Horne exceeded with some superb displays between the sticks. He was pretty much unchallenged in 94/95, almost being ever present in goal - the only bright spot in another disappointing season. The next season was a hero in a League cup derby with Scarborough, the match drawn over two legs went to penalties - Brian saving a couple of spot kicks in the shootout before stepping up to convert one himself. He did blot his copy book somewhat in the next round by getting sent off in a heavy defeat by Arsenal.

Premiership class with Boro

Firmly established in the heavy drinking culture that surrounded professional football back then, Horne was out on the piss with Tony Adams the night the England skipper drove home intoxicated, wrecked his car and was subsequently jailed. That pastime caught up with him by the time he'd reached Hartlepool, and his portly figure led to disgust and derision from Pools boss Keith Houchen. Houch described Horne as a 'fat slob' in his autobiography and did his best to force him out, using four hastily assembled and substandard loanees. None worked out and Houchen was reluctantly forced to play Brian. It pitted the fans against the player manager, disappointing given the amount of goals he'd bagged in two spells at Pools, prompting him to hit back at the supporters: "there are a lot of shit people following every club. They are everywhere, that type, with brains the size of a pea. I wouldn't keep the players they wanted, players who were patently not good enough and were really, really bad professionals... the majority of them are nasty people. There are more of them at Hartlepool than elsewhere – without a shadow of doubt"

It all ended on Saturday 6th April 1996 when a relegation threatened Pools were trailing two nil half time at Gillingham. A shocking on field spat between the Horne and Houchen almost came to blows, and led to the mananger subbing him off on the spot for the much maligned Steve Jones. It was to be Horne's last appearance for United. Keith Houchen didn't last much longer either, resigning early into 96/97.

Horne took a year out from the came before returning to the semi professional game in his native South East, first with Dover in 97/98 and Farnborough the following season. Brian now works commentating on the odd game with first club Millwall, and also organizes the annual Atlantic Cup competition with former Arsenal midfielder Stefan Schwarz.

Young Lion - Millwall Days

Image of The Day (in 1992)

Tony Skedd's Gash

Only Pools and Norses

Hartlepool have been owned by Norwegian based oil company Increased Oil Recovery (IOR) for nearly fifteen years now. And throughout those years the Pools ranks have often been occupied by Scandinavian players with unpronounceable names. Most of them came over in the late 90s when Pools desperately needed reshaping but the odd Norse pops up even today. I've got them all here, all with varying degrees of success - the top ten Poolie Norwegians.

10) Tommy Knarvik

Probably the best Norwegian never to play for United. U21 international Tommy arrived on trial in the summer of 2001 after his release from Leeds United. He made only two league appearances for Leeds, which was considerably more than he made for us. Presumably we couldn't afford him as he went home to Norway and played for some big clubs over there including Brann and Viking. Still currently playing for Bodo/Glimt, with some 250 plus total Tippelagen games to his name.

9) Stig Olav Larsen
One of the first players of the viking invasion of 1997, yet the one who made the least impact. Surprising as he seemed to fit the ideals of at late 90s division three striker - big and strong with little skill. On loan to us from Fana IL in December 1997 he made only 5 appearance, all as sub. Released May 1998

8) Rune Vindheim
A central defender who I always thought was dutch for some reason. Was the only norwegan to arrive at Hartlepool from another English club - Burnley. He'd been plying his trade in his home country with Brann, Sogndal and Fana before arriving at Turf Moor in 98/99. He made only eight appearances for the Clarets, making his debut at Maine Road and his last at in a local derby with Preston. He also managed to net two goals. He came to Pools at the start of 99/00 on a short term contract to cover the injured Gary Strodder, and made his debut in a 3-0 win over Plymouth. He played fairly well in his seven starts without really standing out. Boss Chris Turner tried to sort him out with a longer term deal but negotiations didn't go well, and by that time Strodder was back and Chris Westwood outstanding, so Rune's contract was allowed to expire. He returned to Norway and later became manager of Fana in 2010.

7) Thomas Tennebo
One word to some this lad up. Unfortunate. Yet another player to arrive from Fana in summer 1999, this central midfielder looked very promising in his three week trial. Made a superb debut away at Carlisle and took only three minutes to make the assist for the opening goal. Didn't play much after that, picking up a horrendous knee injury that kept him out the rest of 99/00. He returned to play another ten games of so but didn't look the same and returned home to Fana in 2001. Still turning out for Arstad IL where he's been since 2008.

6) Jon Andre Fredriksen
One of the more recent vikings to play for United. Having played for Rade and Moss, he arrived at Pools from Sarpsborg in summer 2009. A midfielder who could be used in middle or on the left, I saw him play Sheff Wed in a friendly I could tell he wouldn't be with us long. Looked too slight and not strong enough for League One. Didn't see him play again after that, but think I was proven right as he made only 12 appearances before his contract was mutually terminated in October 2010. Returned home to Moss.

5) Tim Sperrevik
A big strong striker gave the Pools defence a torrid time in a pre-season friendly at Fana. He duly arrived on trial at Pools and was given a two year contract. Failed to find the form he had showed playing against Pools and struggled to settle in England. Was given a fair few chances in the team, four starts and 11 subs and scoring just once. 'Spunky' though became a bit of a cult hero of mine though, as he always tried his hardest. Despite failing to settle in this country he picked up the swear words easily, which he showed when he was sent off at Brighton for verbally abusing the ref. Returned home to Fana.

4) Armann Bjornsson
Ok I'm cheating a bit here - Bjornsson is Icelandic - but I was struggling for ten Norwegians, but he's still a Scandinavian. Albeit not the best. I remember being fairly excited when he came to us. Had played for some big Scandinavian clubs in Lillestrom, Bran and FH and had a few international caps to his name, plus I'd signed him once on Champ Man and had done pretty well. Made his debut in a 1-1 draw with Wycombe in 2009. Scored his first goal at Elland Road, Pools only of the game. Unfortunately Leeds scored four. After pre-season 2010 Chris Turner pinned hopes of him becoming the big target man Pools had required for a good number of years, and he started in the first game of the season away at Rochdale. And was shit. By far the worst player in Pools colours. Made only 18 appearances for Pools, scoring three. Was voted in a FourFourTwo supplement recently as Hartlepool's worst ever foreign player. And he made it into my top five. Shows the calibre of the Norwegians who have turned out for us...

3) Rune Lange
Certainly the one of the biggest names to played for Hartlepool and he makes it into the top three on reputation only, not what he did in a United shirt. Was a big name in Norway and had played at the highest level in Turkey with Trabzonspor and in Belgium with Club Brugge. In fact with Brugge he'd netted some 50 odd goals in just over a hundred appearances, winning his sole international cap whilst there. He came to Pools from Valerenga in 2008/09 and the 32 year old target man looked promising in draws with Walsall and Leicester. He scored against MK Dons but his shoulder was badly injured in the same game and that was the end of his Pools career. He returned to fitness but was not offered a new contract. A shame.

2) Martin Hollund
Former U21 international Martin arrived from Brann on a free transfer in winter 1997 and finally put and end to Pools goalkeeping issues. Since 1995 we'd used about ten different custodians. He spent the first month at United without a contract but did enough to convince the board he was worthy of a deal. Made a solid debut in a 2-0 over Barnet, the first of 117 Poolie games between the sticks. A good shot stopper with superb reactions, however was indecisive when coming out to catch crosses. Had a minor blip in 1998/99 when Pools were rock bottom of the league and was suffering with low confidence - boss Mick Tait told Hollund he had no future at Hartlepool, opting to play Tasmanian Simon Miotto instead. Eight games later Tait was sacked and caretaker boss Brian Honour reinstated Hollund and with some solid appearances helped us avoid relegation. Eventually ousted of first team duties by Tony Williams in 2001, he transferred to home country club Lov-Ham as keeper, but also curiously playing as a striker for non league Bremnes IL. Retired in 2007 but due to lack of playing staff was Lov-Hams bench keeper in 2010 and made an apperance as sub in 2011 when their first choice was sent off. Holds the distinction of most appearances for a Norwegian for Pools. A legend.

1) Jan Ove Pedersen
Played only 17 games for Hartlepool but ask any Poolie who saw him play and they'll tell you he was pure class. Regularly features in Hartlepool best XI sides despite his low games tally. Arrived on loan from Brann during the Norway winter break, in order to keep fit and make a push for Norway's World Cup 98 squad. Don't think he ever made it to France but we're pleased he made it to French monkey hangering Hartlepool. A cultured midfielder who'd represented Norway at every international level from U15 to full seniors - 17 caps and a goal at full level - and it showed he was a class act, better than anyone Hartlepool had ever had  and arguably have had since. Looked a cut above the shower of shite surrounding him, and was made to look daft at times as the rest of the squad weren't on the same wave length. Still his skills shone through turning Pools fortunes around, as the relegation favourites took the league by storm...and finished 17th. Scored a quality goal at home to Darlo which sticks out in my mind. The fans wanted him to stay but it was never going to happen, and he went home to Brann. Summer 1999 Pools made a rather audacious attempt to bring Peds back, offering him £3000 a week and Brann £50k. But Brann stalled allowing Austrian side Bregnez to table a £60k bid and he promptly joined them, a club he would later go on to manage. The ultimate Hartlepool United cult hero (of any nationality).

Ben Clark Interview

I did a short spell at Sunderland fanzine A Love Supreme back in 2005 when trying to find my feet in journalism. It didn't happen for me although I'm pleased to say I managed to get a couple of bits published in the magazine, the most proud of which was with then Poolie defender Ben Clark. Having to write as a pretend SAFC supporter wasn't the best, so I spent my time writing about ex Sunderland players who had gone to Hartlepool, before presenting them to the ALS editor Martyn McFadden. The one he saw prospect in was about Clarky, and as the editor was still in touch with Pools assistant boss Martin Scott (again ex S'land), an interview was set up. You may notice slight Poolie biased in the interview...

"A few eyebrows were raised around SoL last October when Ben Clark swapped the bright lights of Sunderland for the slightly dimmer surroundings of Hartlepool. The former England U21 international's pedigree had been overlooked by three different managers during his time with the lads, and his skills could only be seen on a regular basis at Archibald's Stadium (S'land's reserve ground). It was a surprise to us that Clarky was always in the reserves, especially considering Phil Babb was constantly picked ahead of him.

Clark, a life-long Sunderland supporter, moved down the A19 on a free transfer. He had made only 17 Sunderland appearances in four years, despite the fact he'd been tipped to have a promising future.

Since joining Hartlepool he has helped them continue to punch above their weight, with the club looking to cement another League One play-off position come May. Pools already have a solid back line so boss Neale Cooper has decided to play him in a central midfield role, where his tough tackling, strength and good distribution have won him many fans at Victoria Park.

The addition of Clark to Hartlepool's threadbare squad was worth its weight in gold, and helped the Monkey Hangers achieve one of the best home records in the country. So with Clark doing so well for Pools, we at ALS decided to catch up with him and see how things are going since his exile from Sunderland...

You're a Sunderland lad. Who sticks in your mind as the best players you've seen play for Sunderland and why?
I think when I was there Kevin Phillips was amazing, and Quinny was really good as well. Just before I left I was also good mates with Gary Breen. And before that I used to like watching Dariusz Kubicki. A whole variety of different players basically.

Did any of them influence you?
Not really. I was there with Phillips and Niall Quinn were top pros. Jason McAteer was also a big help with the young lads. Basically all the older pros were a big help.

How did you feel when you signed for Sunderland?
I loved it. It's every boy's dream to play for his hometown club. Especially me coming back from Manchester (United) to Sunderland, and it was a dream to play in front of supporters.

What are your best memories of being at Sunderland?
I think playing for Sunderland against Hartlepool in the FA Cup. There were 10,000 Hartlepool supporters in, and the crowd was 42,000 or something at the game, so it was great to play in. Luckily Sunderland managed to win one nil
(nb - he was playing for SAFC in that game)

What was it like to captain your country at under 20 level?
It was a big honour. It's every boy's dream to play football but to captain your country at that age was a brilliant experience, a great thing to do.

How did you feel when you were told you'd be leaving SAFC?
I was disappointed. I think that I probably stayed at Sunderland too long just because I supported them. I think it was harder for me to leave the club because I'm a fan. But at the end of the day it was the right time to leave, because I had to think about myself and my career.

Do you think you were given a fair chance at Sunderland?
Personally I don't think I was. I needed more opportunities to play more games for the club, because in the games I did play I felt I hadn't really done myself justice. At the end of the day you've got to go by the manager's decision, but I still think I deserve more chances. When I left I felt the time was right, but the first result I look for when I've finished a game is to see how Sunderland got on.

Sunderland seems to have a habit of letting younger players leave. Do you think there is a problem?
I'm not too sure about that. Although it's very hard now for the young lads coming through the youth system trying to get in the first team. I know Chris Brown is doing very well there, so let's hope he keeps going. He needs to keep his head on his shoulders, try to keep progressing and knock on the door of the first team, and hopefully the manager will keep picking him.

Who helped you settle in at Hartlepool the most, and how?
Martin Scott was huge influence because he used to be at Sunderland when I was there. That helped me settle in quickly which is what you need to play well. Some of the older players helped too. Michael Barron who's been here for nearly ten years helped me too.

Why do you think Hartlepool have done so well over the past few years?
They've got a great team spirit and all the lads get on well together, along with the manager and Scotty the assistant. There is good banter between us all. Overall it's down to the good team spirit.

Any chances of getting promotion?
It's still very much in our hands I think. We don't fear anybody in this league. We just need to keep going and win a few more games. A few more wins and I think we'll be safe in the play -offs.

In your own opinion, what are your strengths and weaknesses in your game?
I think my strengths are that I'm very comfortable on the ball and I like to play football, as passing is possibly the biggest part of my game. My weakness is my heading, which I really need to work on.

What are your ambitions for the future?
Hopefully to try and get Hartlepool United into the play-offs. After that keep challenging for promotion to the Championship, and then I'll just take it from there...

A big thanks to Ben and good luck for the rest of the season. I still can't help thinking that we've let a good quality player leave the club. Admittedly Sunderland are currently strong in defence and there is more than enough talent at the back in the event of a defensive injury plague. However it is a shame that a talented young player who promised so much, starting out at Man Utd and captaining England U19s at the 2002 Euro Championship, was never really given the chance to shine at the Stadium of Light. Clark joins a list of players such as Jonjo Dickman, Craig James and Patrick Collins, who were all tipped for great things but have left the club and disappeared into the lower leagues. In this case, Sunderland's loss is Hartlepool's gain".     

This interview was at the end of 04/05 season, and Hartlepool did indeed make the play-off final losing out to Sheff Wed. Clark continued playing for Pools, suffering relegating in 2006 followed by immediate promotion in 2007, before being released in 2010 after making 162 league appearances. He has been playing for Gateshead since, being made club captain and being named player of the year 2011.

Brian Glover's Match of The Day

Carlton Palmer is a Wanker

Does anyone actually like him? I'm putting forward the simple arguement of 'no'. Reasons -

As a Hartlepool United fan, we don't like him as he wound up club legend and hero Brian Honour in a FA Cup match in 1993. After he'd kicked Wor Jackie into the air then accused him of diving and being a 'cheating little shite', he proceeded to make his mouth go constantly - comments such as 'I'm getting paid two grand for this match, how do you get by?', 'this summer I was playing for England, what were you doing?' and similar taunts led to fellow Sheff Wed team mates Trevor Francis and Danny Wilson telling him to 'shut it' and 'stop being a prick'. So he's hated by Poolies one and all.

But it's not just us surely. He was part of an unfashionable George Graham Leeds United, so they can't be fond. And was relegated at Coventry and Nottingham Forest - again they can't be keen? Even his previous managers have had digs at him. Big Ron (manager at WBA, Sheff Wed & Forest) famously said 'Carlton can trap a ball further than I can kick it'. There was a similar theme Southampton, where Dave Jones said "He covers every blade of grass out there, but that's only because his first touch is so crap". He also noted that in the dressing room was "abrasive, awkward and argumentative" - university speak for 'twat'.

All England fans will remember Graham Taylors ill fated regime were work rate and doggedness was rated over flair and skill. Therefore Palmer was included in the England squad that flopped at Sweden 92 and failed to reach USA 94, winning 18 caps during these dark days in English football.

He's potentially hated even more as a manager. At Stockport County he led his troops to lose ten out of his opening 11 games in 2001. Relegation form surely? Yep. The Hatters went down to division two and proceeding to win only eight in their first 22 in the Football League's middle tier. He was sacked in Sept. 2003 and problems have continued at Stockport since.

Despite this he managed to get another manager's job, this time at Mansfield Town in 2004-05. Poor form yet again led to abuse from the fans and he walked with the Stags in the relegation zone. Another team Palmer successfully guided to failure. He still wasn't satisfied with what he had achieved (namely pissing the Mansfield fans off) and went back, as a TV pundit for a live cup match with Boro, to do what he did best (namely piss Mansfield fans off further) by openly critiscisng their star player of the day (name escapes me, possibly Simon Brown?) saying he lacked desire and commitment - something Palmer himself was short of when he resigned as manager of Mansfield because the fans were singing a few nasty songs.

Finally he gets in bathtubs with football fans in the name of betting. Not pleasant behaviour.

In short a bit of a nobhead. In tall, a bit of a tall nobhead.

Cult Poolies - Joe Allon

Super Joe is probably Hartlepool's ultimate cult hero. He had two spells at United in the 1990s, both times he made an impact and created history.

He started out at hometown club Newcastle (pictured bottom right with Gazza), making a handful of appearances for the Toon before a season spell at Swansea. He came to Pools in the late 80s, with his blonde popstar hair do and settled in superbly. In 1989/90 there was a taste of things to come, bagging 18 goals. The next season under the guidance of legendary chief Cyril Knowles, Pools won promotion for the first time since the 1960s, with 'Skull' Allon hitting 28 goals, topping up his goals tally and his bank account - The Pools squad backed promotion at 45-1 in Willie Hills in summer 1990, and celebrated promotion twelve months later with £200 notes for the post season jaunt to Magaluff.

Money came in from Chelsea - £250k to be precise - and he scored two in two in his first appearances in 91/92. However he seemed to fall in with a bad crowd. His flatmate was none other than Vinnie Jones, he became chums with Dennis Wise, and an ex-Geordie team mate was also making his way in the capital - Paul Gascoigne. Lager-fuelled mayhem allegedly took place. After 18 games for the Blues and a lack of goals, and with an extra £100k due to Pools when he played 20 matches, so Chels flogged him to London neighbours Brentford for a club record fee of £275k - where he had  a more successful goalscoring record in two years .

Pools could probably have felt short changed after that, but following spells at Port Vale and Lincoln, Allon returned to Hartlepool in 1995 for nowt. The goals came but not as plentiful as before, hitting 22 in three seasons. However he'll always be best remembered for an incident in 1997 when he raised his status from cult hero, to cult legend. With Pools facing the drop (again) towards the end of the season, they found themselves one-nil down away at Darlo. Pools managed to get an equaliser through Man City loanee (and Poolie born and bread) Michael Brown, but desperately sought the three points for safety. With ten minutes remaining Allon was dispatched from the bench but still nothing. Deep into injury time a corner boucned across the area, evading everyone bar Joseph Ball Allon. Somehow having fallen on his arse he managed to scissor kick it into Darlo's net, in front of the Tin Shed (below). Silence in Feethams except mayhem in amongst the away support.

Unfortunately a recurring knee injury ended his career at the beginning of 97/98. Since then he's worked fairly regularly as a radio pundit, and except a minor incident with some Pools fans when returning as a coach with Dennis Wise's Leeds in 2007, he remains a legend amongst the Poolie faithful